Mastering Masculinity, Together.
This weekend I’ve realized my wife doesn’t trust me at all. I’ve been inconsistent and combative with her for the last few years and we fight about stupid things all the time. I feel devastated knowing I’ve eroded her trust by my incessant defensiveness and need to be right. I want to change this before it’s too late but I don’t even know where to start! She’s already starting to check out of the marriage. We have a vacation coming up in 4 weeks and I want advice on how to make the trip a new beginning for us. What are some things I can do here?
I have some work at the shop to do before a fast-approaching deadline. It will require me to work late the night before. I asked my ex-wife to take the kids the night before the deadline day instead of the next morning so I can get to my job before 10 am and complete the tasks needed to get the project done
My wife and I are separated with kids. She had been the one to stay at home with them while I was doing my best to provide for all of us. I have our three boys for the first weekend alone without their mother around. I am a good father, but honestly, I am a little nervous about doing this alone. Do you have any advice on what we should do together?
Even though my wife and I are currently moving toward a separation (she moves out in a week) we have been getting along better than ever and the conversations lead toward reconciling in the future. It has been okay despite the circumstances. Now on top of all this our beloved dog needed some emergency medical attention and the outlook doesn’t look good. I really could have used some comforting and companionship from her as we go through this together, so I asked to lay by her. I mean, we had been loving and affectionate lately. I got nothing but the cold shoulder as I lay there alone. She rolled over and ignored me. I don’t understand why she isn’t able to be there for me in a moment where we are both facing the loss of our cherished pet. Is there ever a time in which I can count on her for love and support?
Last week I offered to get a babysitter for the kids and asked my wife to go to diner with me. I was playfully teasing and flirting with her about how fun it would be to have the house all to ourselves. She just rolls her eyes and walks away. THAT DAMN EYE ROLL! I get so frustrated when she does that. She is so shut down and doesn’t have any desire anymore. What am I supposed to do when she keeps shutting me down?
After months of separation, we finally had the talk. As we sat across from each other on the deck outside I explained to her I’ve changed. I told her I am doing the work to become a better man, a better husband. She said, with tears in her eyes, “I don’t trust you.” I don’t get it. I’ve never cheated, I’ve provided for the family, I have been her support. What I have done can’t be that bad. She said something about being safe emotionally. I don’t know where to go from here. How do I make her feel emotionally safe?
I want to tell her to pack her shit and leave tonight. I am in super rage mode right now. I texted her a few times and no reply. I just need a simple answer about dinner for the kids. I am so pissed off right now and sick and tired of this constant disrespect from her. Grrrr….how hard is it just to text me back?