The Kind of Men We Are
Below are some attitudes, virtues, and actions we admire and consider to reflect masculine maturity among men.
We unapologetically desire to see greatness within every man within the Mentoring Men community and will invite men to live within these more fully each day.
Attitudes & Virtues We Love
Men who endeavor to live by these attitudes and virtues have great adventures with us.
Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. It recognizes that as a person of immense value and worth, you’re free to consider what others say without needing to be elevated above others.
Be open to the ideas of others, even if they are distasteful to you or wildly different from yours.
Ask questions. Explore ideas. Look for a deeper understanding of what others are sharing.
Honesty & Authenticity
Don’t tell us fibs or fish stories. You don’t need to prove yourself to us. We accept the real you, whoever that is. Be real. Be yourself!
Accept others as they are, as we accept you how you are. Don’t demand others change to be like you judge or believe they ought to be.
Comfort kills men. Discomfort is necessary on any adventure. Overcome your resistance to discomfort, and you’ll grow. Resistance leads to stagnation.
If you don’t let us, we can’t know, serve, encourage, and love you on your adventurous journey.
Actions We Encourage
The men here giving the most tend to be the ones who get and grow the most.
Do the work
Work doesn’t do itself. It won’t be easier to do later than it is right now. Perhaps even harder.
Create time instead of finding it
If you wait til you can find time, life is leading you, and you’re not leading it. We all get the same amount of time in a day. We all just have different values.
Assuming the best
Assume that everyone here (and elsewhere) is doing their best. You’re not as clairvoyant as your brain tells you that you are. You’re going to interpret the meanings of what others do and say. Choose good ones that believe the best about you and them.
Giving more than you take
Don’t treat our community or yourself cheaply. Don’t make us just one more place you go to get something. Ask for what you need, but also give what others ask for where possible.
Ask more questions. Make fewer statements.
Listen to understand others and ask questions. Most people already know what they need, and they just need help finding it—questions open hearts and minds, and statements often close ears, hearts, and minds.
Treat everyone as you desire to be treated. Simple.
Here’s some fair warning of what will make your adventure in our community unpleasant and possibly end it early.
Attitudes We Don’t Enjoy
In general, don’t be a d*ck or an assh*le. If you’re unsure what that looks like, here’s some explanation.
- Thinking you know it all
- Taking things personally
- Critiquing & judging the intentions, views, and perspectives of others
- Being argumentative and debating
- Accusing others of maliciousness or bad motives
Actions We Won’t Abide
Mishandling Confidential Information
Everything posted here should be considered confidential and treated as information private to our community. It takes courage to be vulnerable, and we honor that by providing a platform where men can be vulnerable without fear of others circulating what they share.
Belittling Others & Name-calling
There’s absolutely no place for these among us. Refrain yourself, or we’ll do it for you by unceremoniously ending your membership (and without refund)
We’re a community dedicated to men’s personal development. While you may offer men great things that help them in their journey, this community isn’t here to offer men opportunities to market their wares.
Sell men on yourself by creating value among us, not your products and services. If you wish to engage them outside of the “public square” based on a relationship you form, go for it.
We’re a community dedicated to men’s personal development. While we have quite a bit of latitude for what we consider an integral part of a man’s life, we’re not here to talk about just anything.
Rather than make blanket statements about what is okay/not okay, consider this simple litmus test to help guide you if something worth talking about here:
- It applies to all or most men despite their geographical location and local culture?
- It helps a man to create, expand, subdue, multiply, conquer, and fill his domain with more of what he loves.
- It doesn’t foster fear, anxiety, worry, and insecurity about things outside of a man’s control and influence.
- It equips, encourages, connects, and builds men up.
If what you want to discuss doesn’t do this ☝🏼, it’s not something that belongs in Mentoring Men.
We work hard to locate, love, and serve men who desire guidance. We make no claims of ownership or territory over these men and recognize their self-agency to lead themselves wherever they choose.
Nevertheless, we’re also not doing the work we do finding men in need only to supply feeble-minded or lazy men with prospects for their latest endeavors.
We want the men in our community to create a strong community, including those outside our platform. We encourage this! Because we embrace ownership and self-reliance, we ask that you build community by the influence, value, and love you provide, not by taking advantage of how other men labor.
“Unauthorized” Commercial Coaching & Mentoring
We’ve created our platform around building intensely personal, deep mentoring relationships among men and affirming and supporting those who desire to become mentors.
We have a path to becoming a mentor on our platform that is open to all men who have been mentored and are willing to take the path we offer.
No one may circumvent that path aside from men invited by Mentoring Men founders to enter our community in that role.
There is no way a mentor can “pay their way in” or around this, no matter their expertise or reputation. A founder must personally know, approve, and invite each mentor.
The only mentors and coaches welcome to provide commercial mentoring and coaching are those we’ve formally invited to do so.
Gossip & Slander
If you find yourself speaking about another member who is not present, and you’d be embarrassed or ashamed for them to hear you say it, then don’t. Talking about others in ways that degrade them degrades our community as well.
We hope you’ve read these community guidelines in the warm, loving, clear, and direct spirit we’ve provided them. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email your inquiry to email@example.com.
Other Legal Stuff
These guidelines apply to our private men’s community and any system operated by Mentoring Men, LLC in which members are active at-will participants.
This community is for male human beings only. We love female human beings and are engaged in being excellent men to complement their wonderfulness. However, to do that, we have limited our community to men only to provide men with a unique atmosphere to gain masculine insight from only men.