Private Community Guidelines
The Kind of Men We Are
Below are some attitudes, virtues, and actions we admire and consider to reflect masculine maturity among men.
We unapologetically desire to see greatness within every man within the Mentoring Men community and will invite men to live within these more fully each day.
Attitudes & Virtues We Love
Men who endeavor to live by these attitudes and virtues have great adventures with us.
Humility
Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. It recognizes that as a person of immense value and worth, you’re free to consider what others say without needing to be elevated above others.
Openness
Be open to the ideas of others, even if they are distasteful to you or wildly different from yours.
Curiosity
Ask questions. Explore ideas. Look for a deeper understanding of what others are sharing.
Honesty & Authenticity
Don’t tell us fibs or fish stories. You don’t need to prove yourself to us. We accept the real you, whoever that is. Be real. Be yourself!
Acceptance
Accept others as they are, as we accept you how you are. Don’t demand others change to be like you judge or believe they ought to be.
Willingness
Comfort kills men. Discomfort is necessary on any adventure. Overcome your resistance to discomfort, and you’ll grow. Resistance leads to stagnation.
Vulnerability
If you don’t let us, we can’t know, serve, encourage, and love you on your adventurous journey.
Actions We Encourage
Be involved
The men here giving the most tend to be the ones who get and grow the most.
Do the work
Work doesn’t do itself. It won’t be easier to do later than it is right now. Perhaps even harder.
Create time instead of finding it
If you wait til you can find time, life is leading you, and you’re not leading it. We all get the same amount of time in a day. We all just have different values.
Assuming the best
Assume that everyone here (and elsewhere) is doing their best. You’re not as clairvoyant as your brain tells you that you are. You’re going to interpret the meanings of what others do and say. Choose good ones that believe the best about you and them.
Giving more than you take
Don’t treat our community or yourself cheaply. Don’t make us just one more place you go to get something. Ask for what you need, but also give what others ask for where possible.
Ask more questions. Make fewer statements.
Listen to understand others and ask questions. Most people already know what they need, and they just need help finding it—questions open hearts and minds, and statements often close ears, hearts, and minds.
Valuing others
Treat everyone as you desire to be treated. Simple.
Here’s some fair warning of what will make your adventure in our community unpleasant and possibly end it early.
Attitudes We Don’t Enjoy
In general, don’t be a d*ck or an assh*le. If you’re unsure what that looks like, here’s some explanation.
- Thinking you know it all
- Taking things personally
- Critiquing & judging the intentions, views, and perspectives of others
- Being argumentative and debating
- Accusing others of maliciousness or bad motives
Actions We Won’t Abide
Mishandling Confidential Information
Everything posted here should be considered confidential and treated as information private to our community. It takes courage to be vulnerable, and we honor that by providing a platform where men can be vulnerable without fear of others circulating what they share.
Belittling Others & Name-calling
There’s absolutely no place for these among us. Refrain yourself, or we’ll do it for you by unceremoniously ending your membership (and without refund)
Marketing
We’re a community dedicated to men’s personal development. While you may offer men great things that help them in their journey, this community isn’t here to offer men opportunities to market their wares.
Sell men on yourself by creating value among us, not your products and services. If you wish to engage them outside of the “public square” based on a relationship you form, go for it.
Posting Off-Topic
We’re a community dedicated to men’s personal development. While we have quite a bit of latitude for what we consider an integral part of a man’s life, we’re not here to talk about just anything.
Rather than make blanket statements about what is okay/not okay, consider this simple litmus test to help guide you if something worth talking about here:
- It applies to all or most men despite their geographical location and local culture?
- It helps a man to create, expand, subdue, multiply, conquer, and fill his domain with more of what he loves.
- It doesn’t foster fear, anxiety, worry, and insecurity about things outside of a man’s control and influence.
- It equips, encourages, connects, and builds men up.
If what you want to discuss doesn’t do this ☝🏼, it’s not something that belongs in Mentoring Men.
Sniping
We work hard to locate, love, and serve men who desire guidance. We make no claims of ownership or territory over these men and recognize their self-agency to lead themselves wherever they choose.
Nevertheless, we’re also not doing the work we do finding men in need only to supply feeble-minded or lazy men with prospects for their latest endeavors.
We want the men in our community to create a strong community, including those outside our platform. We encourage this! Because we embrace ownership and self-reliance, we ask that you build community by the influence, value, and love you provide, not by taking advantage of how other men labor.
“Unauthorized” Commercial Coaching & Mentoring
We’ve created our platform around building intensely personal, deep mentoring relationships among men and affirming and supporting those who desire to become mentors.
We have a path to becoming a mentor on our platform that is open to all men who have been mentored and are willing to take the path we offer.
No one may circumvent that path aside from men invited by Mentoring Men founders to enter our community in that role.
There is no way a mentor can “pay their way in” or around this, no matter their expertise or reputation. A founder must personally know, approve, and invite each mentor.
The only mentors and coaches welcome to provide commercial mentoring and coaching are those we’ve formally invited to do so.
Gossip & Slander
If you find yourself speaking about another member who is not present, and you’d be embarrassed or ashamed for them to hear you say it, then don’t. Talking about others in ways that degrade them degrades our community as well.
Summary
We hope you’ve read these community guidelines in the warm, loving, clear, and direct spirit we’ve provided them. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email your inquiry to founders@mentoring.men.
Other Legal Stuff
These guidelines apply to our private men’s community and any system operated by Mentoring Men, LLC in which members are active at-will participants.
This community is for male human beings only. We love female human beings and are engaged in being excellent men to complement their wonderfulness. However, to do that, we have limited our community to men only to provide men with a unique atmosphere to gain masculine insight from only men.
By a member joining, they are indicating they fit this criteria. Those who register and enter the community despite this criteria will be hastily removed without a refund once discovered. Please respect our guidelines.
- At all times, members will demonstrate respect, support, kindness, and appreciation for each other.
- At all times, members will treat the postings as top secret and will not share anything outside the confidence of this community.
- At all times, members will assume the best of intentions from other brothers in this community.
- At all times, members will be honest, direct, and transparent with each other. Members are expected to show respect to everyone in the community.
- At all times, members will provide their insights and viewpoints without lecturing, advising or coaching someone without their permission.
We are a community built upon an existing brotherhood of professional mentors and coaches. The community of coaches and mentors emerged organically and continues to grow organically. We work hard to ensure that our shared values continue to be reproduced among ourselves and in those we mentor. There is no means of becoming a mentor on our platform without a relationship with a mentor or coach.
With that in mind, only those persons authorized and approved by Mentoring Men, LLC to do so will identify themselves as “Professional Mentor,” “Professional Coach,” “Mentor,” or “Coach. ” Also forbidden are other derivatives intended to inform our members of a mentoring or coaching role not recognized by Mentoring Men, LLC.
Without such authorization, anyone identifying as a coach or mentor will be removed from the community without a refund.
Members who want advice/help/mentoring or coaching…only need to say so directly or ask a question. Otherwise, it’s assumed you’re just venting.
While we’ve worked hard to provide a safe, technologically advanced platform for our community, we do not guarantee the privacy or confidence of shared information. All information you share as it your risk and responsiblity.
No member should ever post anything they wouldn”t want viewed in a major newspaper, not merely on our network, but on the internet in general.
Our service is offered without liability for what others do with information a man elects to post.