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I knew I had a wife problem!
I knew I was being wronged!
I knew I was being disrespected, overlooked, misjudged, unvalued, and unloved.
Divorce can be a tough time for men, but it can be especially challenging for fathers. Here’s one fathers story of connection with his son post divorce.
We’ve learned that the more comfortable a man wants the start of his mentoring journey to be, the more certain he will not follow through to finish it.
By contrast, the more invested a man is in his journey, the more thorough and transformative his experience
When we first meet these men, they’re convinced they have specific problems like:
Being unappreciated/disrespected/overlooked
Feeling alone even though in a relationship or in a crowd
An angry, cold, distant wife or partner who doesn’t seem to like them, let alone love them
Not receiving warmth/attention/affection/touch/together time/sex/intimacy
Their wife/partner spending too much time on her phone/with friends/with the kids/etc
The truth is, many men will be angered reading this. They’re not yet ready to face the daunting task of maturing into their most capable, confident selves. That’s okay; We get it; we were there, too, once!
I still get triggered seeing her on the sofa on her phone which is where she is pretty much most of the time after saying Goodnight to the kids. More often than not, she’s watching something or doing something. She’ll spend most of the time before bed in that position before going to bed. If I happen to go engage her in convo, she’ll listen and we talk but 90% of the time, that only happens if I initiate. She has rarely come to where I am and engaged me that way.
When we first meet men, they often only approach sex in one way. Neediness.
We know it’s hard to hear, but this is the approach of immature, insecure men.
There’s a better way, and it involves a transformation and maturing process in the man’s life.
Many men are uncertain how to handle a wife’s declaration of divorce and fearfully wonder if her words are a determinative factor for getting a divorce. In this article, "Vick," one of our apprentice mentors of Mentoring Men, discusses what to do in these moments. If...
Dena and I had a massive fight, and I can’t sleep. I’m broken. I don’t know what to do with her anger. She said she didn’t want to be married. I don’t think she means it.
She drank too much, and then the anger came. We need help, but I’m not sure where to go next. I know all the things we’ve been learning are helping me.
Why are these men who are often considered trusted leaders in their community and those we consider society’s finest finding it so difficult to experience the deep, emotionally-connected, intimate, and passionate marriages they yearn for?
As mentors speaking to hundreds of such men and helping many of them overcome the challenges of a sexless marriage, we’ve identified many patterns among the men who are experiencing a sex-starved relationship that is low on intimacy and high on frustration and emotional pain.
Hey brother, I appreciated your recent question and comments about feeling anxious in life and marriage. You mentioned being anxious and fearful all the time but unable to capture any of it. I relate! Especially when you described those anxious thoughts as "ping-pong...
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